Sunday, December 12, 2010

because WHY??

why is life being so difficult?

i'm happy, very happy.
and then as the saying goes:
"the higher you go, the harder you fall"
and i go down down down
into sadness.
or something of the sort.

and i want to cry.
and i want to be hugged
and be told that everything
will be alright.
and i want to be happy,
i just don't remember how.
its like happiness packed up
and went on vacation
without letting me know
in advance.
just *poof* and its gone.

like a dream
a vivid dream
that i can't seem
to remember
no matter how hard
i try.

perhaps i have a mild case
of manic depression....
or maybe its just me..
or maybe it really is all in my mind.
who knows.

important thing being:
i miss you!!

it'll come back, i'm sure of it.
just like all those other times.
all it takes is patience.
a darn good dose of it.

in the meantime,
here is my happy face


Rebecca said...

That pretty much sums up how I feel right now too!

bbonnieblue said...

I hope you both feel better soon..'tis the season to be jolly - I guess.

Take care,

Rebecca said...

Aww Bonnie you're the best! Always so upbeat and encouraging, I love i! You're like the "blog Mom" and I mean that in a good way, I love your advice!

sweet pea. said...

thanks, bonnie. i'll be happy for the holidays and for christmas, even if i have to squeeze it out my emotions. for sure. but i'll get happy eventually. i always do....


Rebecca said...

Sweet Pea:
Is there anything in particular that is causing your unhappiness right now?

sweet pea. said...

i dont know, honestly. there might be, but it just feels like im not very happy for almost no reason..

Rebecca said...

I understand that feeling. I was feeling that same way the whole month of August in the Summer. I was just--not happy, and I honestly had no reason not to be happy! I had a job, I had just gotten married, I lived in a great place, good friends and family, etc., but for some reason I was just unhappy and mildly depressed for about a month.

You'll get out of your funk-don't worry. Just remember that God does not want you to feel this way!

sweet pea. said...

=) yeah, thats important. but its hard to remember..