Sunday, December 07, 2014

edit: this photo reminded me of a story we had to read in college
it was called "the yellow wallpaper" or something and
the narrator basically went insane because of the wallpaper and loneliness.

The Not Yellow Wallpaper
these walls are covered
not with yellow wallpaper
this paper does not set
my skin to crawling
i may look a bit insane
but how can i help it
being trapped
with that yellow paper
for oh so long

these walls
this paper
this carpet
this hallway
they are not vomit yellow
they do not evoke
disturbing memories of
the dry and faded
old and tattered
yellow wallpaper

this paper here
takes me another time
another place

my nannas home
so full of flowers always
flowers in the garden
flowers line the path
flowers on the porch and
flowers on the doorstep
flower in the foyer
flowers on the sill
flowers on the window
flowers just outside the window
flowers in a pot or
flowers in a vase
knitted flowers on the wall
flowers in a painting
flowers on a book
flowers all over the tablecloth
flowers on the placemats
flowers on the carpet
flowers on the rugs
flowers on the bedside
flowers on the mattress
flowers on her pillowcases
flowers on the coverlet
flowers on the bedsheets
flowers on her nightdress
flowers on mine
flowers on her clothes
flowers in her thinning hair
flowers in my child hair
flowers in her hands
flowers at her feet
flowers surrounding her
flowers on the casket
flowers beside
flower wreaths
flower meadows
flower rain

i may look a little crazy
but i just miss my flower nanna

Friday, September 19, 2014

on a visit


i see their world. they dont try to hide it. everywhere is teeming with them. they flaunt what they have, minimize what they dont. of course i see them, how can i not. i'm different. i know i am; they know it too. i am not like them, as much as they are not like me. but every once in a while, occasionally, now and then. i wish --i almost wish-- i could join them, be part of their world. do what they do, and say what they say. be like them... be one of them. it doesnt work, i've tried. i cant be one of them. i simply dont belong. my world and their world are much too different. they just dont coincide. i suppose i'm better off the way i am. like me, and not like them. like in my world. not theirs.

Wednesday, May 14, 2014



in her dreams
defying gravity
the winds
gentle breeze
outsmarting physics
leaves flow
she floats
one with frond
reverse gravity
a thread
not weightless
in the arms of invisible
heart stutters
beat quickens
this is a dream
eyes open
sun rays
is this a dream
i will always come back,
no matter how long it takes.

ive attempted to purge my reading list
i follow very many blogs
my "settings" button will not work
many of the old ones i followed exist no longer

ive become older, more thoughtful
maybe a little bit wiser?
i miss you