Wednesday, April 27, 2011


"oh, why is everything so confusing?
maybe im just out of my miiiiind"
- avril lavigne

oh, that girl sums it so so well
in her song im with you

"and this too shall pass"

"it wont last forever."

well thats all good and dandy.
i understand it and accept it
but i just have one (maybe 2) question(s) remaining.
WHEN shall it pass???????
HOW LONG will it last???????

Tuesday, April 26, 2011


i accept,
though i really am very flattered.
half the time, i dont like what i write.
the other half, i like it just enough
but not enough to share it with others (besides you guys)
a lot of the time, i dont even think about what im writing
i just write.
i break my own heart, sometimes.
im glad i have a place to share my writing
because im too afraid to share it
with people i know in person
[only my very close friends have seen
some of the stuff i write from my heart].
once again, i accept.
even if i dont think i deserved it.

ps. i havent been reading my followed blogs lately.
ive been oh so busy. never on the computer.
i feel like a bad follower =(

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

in which i spew randomness

just a few inadvertent thoughts
floating about the insides of my head:

straightjackets make me uneasy
ive never worn one (*shudder*),
but seeing them on someone,
even in pictures, makes me squirmy

i so very much want to make a difference in someones life.
if i already have, then on i go to differentize another's life.

my feet hurt. so much.
perhaps im too hard on them =/

i dont want to go to school tomorrow
but i must, so i will

i really want to move
away from here,
even though ive become attached
and i love the people

my thoughts are all jumbled up

im so so so tired

i want to write something utterly meaningful

i want to write something new

i finally have some floral clothes
theyre awesome =)
spring is seeping into my closet

i wish i lived where seasons actually existed
one day, i will.

i dont like how ive become.
and its so hard to change =(

im going to bed now

Sunday, April 17, 2011

keys to a happy life

  • take life as it comes
    preferably one day at a time.
  • dont take anything too seriously.
  • dont take very much to heart
  • forgive easily
  • dont look back with contempt
  • reminisce
  • adore
  • get excited over little things
    "i can chew without pain!!! YESSS!!!"
    (^someone who just got braces^)
  • dont hold grudges
  • let things go.
  • have an "its ok" attitude
  • smile.
    a lot.
  • laugh
    a LOT


Thursday, April 14, 2011


i know this guy
hes not from america, so he speaks with an accent.
and instead of saying "youre hot"
or along the lines,
he'll say
"you so spicyyy"
its the funniest thing to hear.

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

going going, gone?

going gone where?
crazy, of course.

it is so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so difficult
to try and keep up with work hours
and keep up with school/homework
and keep up with studying
and keep up with church events
and keep up with my friends
and keep up with my blog
and keep up with blog comments
and keep up with all the blogs i follow
and keep up with my life
and keep up even with my thoughts
am i totally crazy?
or just very very very close???

Monday, April 11, 2011


we give ourselves our faces
we kind of draw them for ourselves
with our smiles and laughter
frowns and tears
scrunchy noses
squinty eyes
wide open eyes
wiggly eyebrows
and all the wrinkles
wrinkles which tell of our lives.
how happy or unhappy it was
we make our own faces
careful how you draw yours.

Saturday, April 09, 2011


training on register. and still procrastinating.

Thursday, April 07, 2011


ill finish the title lat



i have a 6 page research paper due monday
that i should probably have mostly finished tomorrow
i am actively, and efficiently, putting it off.
i will do it. i will do it. i will do it. i wi d i...
wish me luck!!!


and on the rainiest day of all, when your window is covered in drops, you will see. youll see me making my way towards you. and you will understand. understand that i was never really gone, i never really left you. i just found shelter in the rain, you see.
so just remember. on the day when there is more than enough rain, more than too much rain; on the day that you will be home, sitting by the window, gazing out. just watch the distance. i will come. i will come back. ill take you in my arms again. and i will not leave you any longer.

Tuesday, April 05, 2011

my happy list?

got this idea from here.

things recently making me happy

  • hearing the patter of soapy water falling off my car as i wash it
  • rollerskating <3
    i really need to do it more often
  • ben and jerry
  • this blog
  • reading
  • work
  • talking to friends
  • my sister  <3
    as much as i sometimes seem otherwise, i still really do love her
  • purpleness
  • the weather
  • shoes
  • the thought of spring being on its way
  • the thought of shopping for springy clothes
  • being outside in the perfection of the air.
  • brushing my hair
    even though it tries my patience
  • romantic movies
  • romantic novels
  • my blankets
  • teddy (my teddy bear)
  • millie (my stuffed cow)
  • darius (my huge bear)
  • little things