Friday, June 24, 2011

worthless


she was once amazing. stunning. gorgeous. graceful. joyous.
she was a ray of sunshine, a light. wherever she went, happiness and radiance followed. it was like she generated positivity and then radiated it out. free of charge. to anyone and everyone.
she was very good with sympathy, however. if there was ever a moment that needed deep and utter sadness, she had it under control. she would be as melancholy as the rest, if not more so.
she was just so lovable. everyone she ever met loved her, and even those who hated her loved her because she had such a magnificent personality. she hated no one, and treated every being with the utmost respect and virtue.
those are the good memories; the ones we choose to remember.
oh, how we loved her.
and then the thing happened.
what exactly happened, no one knows. and if anyone does know, they wont tell.
all we know is that something did happen. something unutterable. something big. and bad.
you see, we could tell when something wasnt right. she was only human. in her carefree world of utter joy, she would have her bouts of sadness, too. every once in a while, she would even seem depressed. we all knew those bouts would pass, though, because of her eyes. they always shone, no matter what. some of us claimed that her eyes glowed, and its true, they really looked like it. but they would always shine, even in her dark days. when she was having a sad moment, or a sad week, it was her eyes that told us she'd be okay. the light was always there.
anyway, back to the thing.
one day, she went missing. no one knows where she went, or how. she just disappeared. a few days later, she was suddenly back as though nothing had happened. we were with her for two or three days after she reappeared, and she was still her typical, lovely self. except for one thing. she was unusually gloomy. just...very very very sad. even our silly jokes couldnt make her crack a smile, which wasnt normal. we were all very worried. and then one of us noticed what exactly was so peculiar about her. it was the eyes. her shimmery eyes. they were dull. no shine, no shimmer, no glow. just lifeless.
she was never the same after that.
small noises would make her jump. she cried easily, and often. she was always so so sad. nothing could make her laugh. she was wary and withdrawn. it was heartbreaking. we loved her all the same, though. we gave back the love she had shown to all of us before. every so often, we would manage to make her smile, and a glimmer of light would show up in her eyes. but it was always a sad smile, and never lasted longer than a few moments. those moments we cherished like nothing else, for they were proof that light once existed in her, and we had brought it back, even for a second.
shes doing alright now, though not the same as she once was. the thing, whatever it was, robbed her of her liveliness. robbed us of her. those eyes, they never did regain their original luster. 

she was once amazing. stunning. gorgeous. graceful. joyous.
oh, how we loved her.
then the thing happened.
and she was never the same.
we refuse to remember her negatively.

we miss her.
i miss her.

ive decided to keep it to myself, but i saw the shining eyes again. once. we were sitting by the lake, looking out, and talking. it was unbelievably tranquil. at one point, she looked over at me, said "its so peaceful" and smilingly sighed. a deep sigh, and a bedazzling smile. one that reached her eyes, just like old times. i had nearly stopped breathing.
i still have no clue what triggered it, but i havent seen her smile like that since.

oh, the photo? yes, thats her. i dont even remember if it was taken before or after the thing. i like to think before, because it helps retain my memory of her happy, bubbly self. i found it, actually. at some sale somewhere. it had caught my eye and i remember thinking that it reminded me of someone i know. when i picked it up, i realized that it was her. the mark says 1.99, but the man gave it to me for .50. worthless, he had said. just an old picture, of a pretty girl. nothing special. got at least a dozen more. maybe worthless to him. to me, that picture is worth half the world, possibly more.
i miss her.

6 comments:

Mich said...

That is really beautiful. I love it! <3

Old Raven said...

Sweet Pea, you are right ... it is sad. But it is lovely too. You have written it in such a way that the reader wishes to co on reading. You have also filled the reader with sympathy. WEll done. Oh ... I had something happen when I was at the end of my 58th year. It was a spiritual experience. RAdical and strange ... it changed me forever. I refer to it as "the thing."

deepti said...

What I liked the most was the way you referred to tHAT EPISODE AS A 'BAD THING'. Your writing echoes as the reader leaves the page!

Barry said...

This is rather mesmorizing, it really drew me in. Love it!

sweet pea. said...

thanks, guys <3

Heather said...

This gave me shivers.
It's truly beautiful.
You are the shimmer in the stars. <3