Friday, November 12, 2010

as much as id love to leave....

.....you with the previous post,
i cant.
i have to write something.
totally unrelated to anything,
totally unthought about.
or something like that.
let me see.......






you know how gut feelings work?
chemically, metaphysically, neurologically, neither do i.
but you know how they are.
they start in the pit of your stomach (your gut), and just kinda sit there. and gnaw at your insides. and you cant get rid of them. no matter how hard you ignore. or try to ignore. because, to be completely honest, you cant ignore them. you can just..... drown them out. with unimportant thoughts or something. or you could distract yourself so as to not think about that annoying gnawing at the bottom of your belly. its not hunger, you know that for a fact. or wait, it actually might be. hmmmmm. maybe you should go eat something. perhaps it'll go away then.. but after you eat, you feel worse. because gut feelings are not to be toyed with. and they are not to be squashed under a pile of chewed-up whatever it was that you ate. so on top of this stupid gnawing in your gut that you cannot for the life of you place a cause on, you now are full and might feel like throwing up, because thats what happens when you eat while your gut is trying to tell you something. so you kind of make an effort to try and figure out what its attempting to say to you. and you think back on your day. and nothing unusual (for the most part) comes to mind. so you think back on your week. and again, you come up with nothing. except that one day at work when........ well, never mind. and you think and you think and you think. and nothing. you draw a blank. and then you remember (not that you forgot in the first place) that your gut cant talk. and neither can your feelings. and usually, when your gut wants to tell you something, it will wait till AFTER it happens to let you know that that was it. and then says "well. i tried warn you. and leaves you with the consequences. so you go back to trying to ignore it, because now we all know that theres really no point in trying to figure it out. it wont happen. it'll probably come along in the span of a few days. maybe weeks, but probably not. and since you somehow know this specific type, you have a feeling it will come in the form of an emotional breakdown. you can feel it. but then again, thats what you get for being to happy for too long of a time. right?


and yes, usually i mean "ï"when i say "you"
. why am i so depressing??

3 comments:

Mohammed J. said...

overseas love to you

be good

goodness is underrated in this world we live in.

bbonnieblue said...

now my gut hurts...hope you feel better now. Sometimes that happens when you get it out there on the screen in front of you. I care!

How is your burn?

Bonnie

http://bbonnieblue.blogspot.com/

Jessica Louise Barlow said...

i love your train of I we and you thought