work. i've gotta love it.

i had to wash all these

on saturday

and thats not even it.

there was MORE

for saturday

just sleeping off a breakdown...

its you. not me.

i didnt change,
your opinion of me did.


and believe me
that is enough to change anyone
in your own eyes.


i didnt change,
your expectations of me did.


and frankly,
thats enough to have anyone transform
right before your very eyes.


i didnt change,
your assumptions of me did.


and really
thats enough to alter anyone
in the eye of the beholder.


my thoughts havent changed.
i do not think differently.
and you wouldnt know.
for you never knew what i was thinking
in the first place.




and change
is almost
always

ever so

slight

really though, why not?

i can write exquisitely.
i am able to place words in their spots and have them weave in and out of each other, so that they paint an elaborate picture in your mind.
i am fascinated with words, and i know how to use them.
i could write immaculate pieces if i put myself to it.


so honestly, why don't i?
because quite frankly, it feels almost fake.
and fake is something i want not to be.
ever.


when the time is right,
when the time comes,
i will write.
perfectly.
flawlessly.
impeccably.
but not yet.
not yet.

everyone

everyone likes to feel appreciated sometimes.
everyone.

a bit of sunshine for those missing it

 i own none of these. i found them.

 on various websites.

happy sunshine to all who are suffering from the winter blues!!
<3

for good

because i can
and because i havent updated.
25 words:






tomorrow, ill go.
back to where it started.
i will listen to our music on the way there.
then, ill let go of those memories.

if i may

im going to do a slight tweakage on the rules of the honest scrap award. i shall take it, and award it to just ONE MORE person who i think really deserves it. i cant even believe how i left them out :o
with it, though, i will also share one more honest thing about the myself. so get ready, here we go.




i would like to also award it to:
becca/rebecca at My Life and Me. i think ive been following her blog ever since she started it, and if she doesnt write from the heart, then i am not aware of what she writes from. her feet, perhaps?


sorry becca, for leaving you out. it was an accident, i promise. =(


fact about me number..........8? 9?
i am an obnoxiously perfectionistic speller. if a word is spelled incorrectly, and i'm not entirely sure what the actual spelling is, it will drive me nuts until i find out. when a word is spelled incorrectly and i cant fix it, i try my hardest to ignore it (doesnt really work.) and i will not write a word if i do not know the correct spelling for it. i just cant. it messes with my sanity.

award.

i got an award.
my first award.
i think ever.
*tear*


thanks bonnie for giving me the honest scrap award.
apparently, its an award for people who write from the heart.
"This lovely lady was one of my first followers and was
so kind to me when I had no idea what I was doing...not
that I've come that far but she humored me and
commented on my posts.  We do love those comments."
thanks a bunch!!! =)


i tried googling it, but the rules were
mayhaps lost somewhere in the vast
swirling world of the blue nowhere.
but the main gist of it is that i must share
a number of honest things about myself.
therefore, i shall pick a number (7)
and share that many.
and then i must also pass this on to... 5 people which i think deserve this.
i do not think i can award it back to the person who awarded it to me (darn!!)


but here goes.
7 honest things about me:
1. i cannot think of random facts about myself on demand.
2. i keep a list of facts about myself in one of the many many (12ish) notebooks i own.
3. i love doing the daily crossword in the newspaper. difficult, but fun.
4. so far, i am loving college a lot more than i had originally anticipated
5. not every single thing i write on my blog is true. most of it is, yes. but theres a few (maybe 2 or 3) posts that are very fiction.
6. i love listening to music. when i hear a very very good song, i fall in love with it, and then listen to it ALL THE TIME. millions of times in a row.
7. i have a problem with "new and improved" things. sometimes, i think i should have been born way back before any technology. id love to be old-fashioned. *dreamy sigh*
8. i think 1 and 2 are pretty much tied together, so ill put another in... i love pictures, and i really want to take a photography course, so that i can get myself a wonderful camera and become a professional photographer. i do not wish to be one of those who doesnt know what the f-stop and the CMOS and the ISO is. i want to know everything.


now for the people i give it to:
mohammed j or jimi.
my very firstest follower. good commenter, good feedback. and i would definitely say he writes from the heart. just go check out his blog.


yours truly
i dont remember how i stumbled upon this blog, but i do remember that i fell in love with it. and i firmly believe she writes from the heart. i love reading her posts.


A gallery of broken hearts
such profound writing. i just love it <3


heather
i dont remember how i came about this one either. i just know that its such nice writing. 


hopeless survivalist
you are going to have to read it to understand.


there we go.
wow, this is one long post

I AM ALIVE!!!!

and i am well.
i am aware of the fact that i went completely
MIA there for about a week and a half.
no, i was not in a terrible car accident.
no, i did not trip my way off a cliff.
no, i was not involved in any shootings.
no, i did not fall off my bike and smash my head open.
no, i was not the victim of a hit and run.
no, i did not fall off the face of the earth.
no, i am not hospitalized.
yes, everything is fine.
i am alive and well.
oh computer, computer, how i've missed you so!
the computer broke is all.
happened while i was at work.
i come home, and my siblings tell me that
"oh, the computer broke.
it just died on us and then
it wouldn't turn back on."
me: "what????......................"
i was computerless for a whole entire.....
like 9 days or so. maybe a few more.
it was so sad.
but im back now!!!!!
they went out and bought a new desktop.
i went out and bought me a netbook.
oh its so cute, you should see it.
just like a baby laptop. so darling.


you missed out on oh so much. ish.
i got through the first 12 days of 2011.
the 7th was the Russian christmas.
i started school.
2 classes.
just monday wednesday friday.
i love college, i really do.


my new obsession song:





oh she is just so precious.