Saturday, August 27, 2011

for you.

its only been about a year or so.

most days im okay.
i dont have much trouble living
without you.
not much trouble thinking
without you.

but sometimes
every once in a while
ill think of you.

no, not of you directly.
ill think of something you said
or something will happen
that reminds me of how you are
or were.
and that, in turn,
will make me think of you.
or maybe ill just remember
something about you.

and i miss you.
i miss talking to you.
i miss texting you.
i miss IMing you.
i miss your voice.
and the way you talk.
i miss your accent.
i miss your pronunciations.
i miss the way you are simply
unable to say certain words.
i miss your stories.
i miss your singing.
i miss your silliness.
i miss you.
i miss you terribly.
my heart begins to feel
a tiny bit empty.
it begins to hurt
a little.
and a part of me
wants to cry.
and some of me wants to remember
every thing about you.
but the rest of me wont allow it.
my mind has pretty much
blocked you from my memory.
which im ok with,
believe it or not.

no looking back.
i am no longer allowed
to look back.
to want what was.
only ahead is for me now.

nevertheless, you still hold
and always always will hold
a special place in my heart.

and if you ever do come back into my life,
ill accept you.
we may not ever be what we were.
for that was once upon a time
and this is now.
but id be willing to start anew.
to build a new friendship
what was is gone.
now there is only
what is, and what will be.

no looking back.
only forward.
only forward.


Heaven said...

This is a melancholy write, and reflects very much an emotional experience. I hope you feel better after writing this as some poems become a cup of our feels and emotions.

If I may suggest, you spell out ill to "I will" or put "I'll" as it reads ill (or sick).

All the best.. and look forward to a new day ~

Heaven said...

"feelings" and emotions.

Melissa said...

e.e. cummings for the 21st century? It seems like you had a lot to say in this one. Might work well if you condense it a bit, since there is so much here to work with. I'd like to see it distilled to a minimalist approach with less words and therefore more room for you in the spaces.

jagring said...

Your emotions are profound, and meaning, deep. I personally can relate to it as I've had my fair share of moments. Though, I must say, it still has vast room for refinement, which I'm sure you can. I look forward to read more of your writing, though you may lack expressiveness, but your emotions are impeccable. Good Luck..!!

bendedspoon said...

when there was love the list of things to miss can really be long because we equally have long moments to look back. I can empathize with this more especially on deciding to move forward. Hugggs :)

L.A Speedwing said...

Hi Sweet pea, i hope you're feeling better. It's been a while since i heard from you. Nice to hear from you. Do take care of yourself.

thingy said...

So sad, but, sometimes, we do have to move on.

Cassiopeia Rises said...

A very deep and moving poem. So very sad. Well written if a bit long.


M.C. said...

So thoughful, reflective, cute, but sad at the same time. I liked how well the words flowed as I read it.

ectorward said...

Pour out your heart and it's bloody. But that's what art is for, i.e. your heart.

Larry, aka The Kid and The Old Goat said...

At first I thought it was a death of life that brought the parting, but then I could see how a parting within life might be even graver.


Emmanuel Ibok said...

Such a clingy feeling to this past. If it was meant to be, it will be. Lighten up and look ahead.


dhitzunako said...

I'm fascinated on how you wrote and divided stanzas. At first it moved slowly: one line, five, three, then when I read the fourth and fifth stanzas, that's when the emotions bursts into sentences. Touching indeed. Last stanzas is good too, with the repetition of "only forward".

Happy rally. :)

Life said...

i love your poem so much because i can connect myself to it so much. :)
i know a heart break is like thousands of spears embedded in your heart and yet you just have to live with it. reading your poem i got carried away in the memory lane of my loved times. thanks for sharing this amazing poem.:)


my entry to poet's rally is

my recent work

i hope you like them.:)

Ann LeFlore said...

such feelings and emotions went into this poem. I am so happy to read your work and wish you a happy rally. This is my first rally and I tried this

clariice said...

Forward. That's the message I got from it. No matter what happens.
I read a liner somewhere before - Don't worry about people from your past....there's a reason they didnt make it to your future

Lovely, isnt it? The experiences do strengthen us but at the same time, somethings are better left behind.
Great entry!

Kay said...

The past creeps up on us as a vine of flowering ivy that can often give us an allergic reaction. I found myself crying today from a weeping willow.