insomnia:

–noun

inability to obtain sufficient sleep; difficulty in falling or staying asleep; sleeplessness.

why yes, that does seem like what has been ailing me as of late. not that im saying it happens by complete accident. it could be kinda sorta just a tad by choice... because perhaps i dont allow myself to sleep as much as i could.. but its not without reason, i must admit. when i fall asleep, i usually go into a dead sleep and do not wake up for just about anything. at times, it feels safer to not doze off at all so as not to risk the fact that i may not wake up, even though i might have to.

of course, though, as with just about all things pertaining to me, i must say that occasionally, insomnia does strike at a totally inopportune time. when im thoroughly exhausted, for instance. or when i really really REALLY should get some sleep for whatever special occasion i might be obligated to encounter in the morning. then sleeplessness just loves to pounce upon me like a kitten chasing a beam of light. ...wow, i have no idea where i came up with that comparison. i should really get some sleep, im beginning to lose my own self. and when you stop making sense to yourself, you know youre either going crazy, or youre seriously underslept. and i might be either, seeing as im "the most normal person i have met in all my years of living" haha.

no, i do not actually talk like that ^^^ i tend to speak in a perfectly updated, slangy fashion, although i do wish i could incorporate this vast amount of large vocabulary words into my daily speech. sadly, however, i do not have many highly educated individuals to converse with, and therefore do not have much of a chance to practice this extended, drawn out version of getting across a simple point. till next time, anyone. cheerio.

i was at a friends house, and one of them informed me that he had just caught a baby alligator. so of course, i was very intrigued, and went over to have a look-see for myself. i was taken just as soon as i saw it, and asked if i could possibly hold it. it was so well-behaved, and only became scared two or three times while i was holding it. i want one now. i have to say  i hate reptiles. they normally disgust me, and id rather not have anything to do with them. but this was just the most darling alligator i have ever seen, so i absolutely HAD to take a picture with it.  isnt it just oh so cute?

i do realize that i have not updated this blog in almost two years. i was simply getting around to it =P

no title.

oyy. i suppose perhaps ill just start posting up random things on this blog.

might as well, you know? maybe someone will one day, completely by utter accident, stumble upon this, and decide that it might fit into their criteria of "things they like" or something of the sort. until then, ill post to nobody, somebody, and myself.

........and the internet, which just so happens to open up a whole new page of maybes and perhapses. but anyway.

i completely forgot what i was going to say...

seriously, though, i have almost naught to do all day long, and sometimes i sit down and write, but im a bit on the spontaneous side, and routine gets a little boring sometimes. so i stop writing and go on the computer for a while. and i end up looking through tons of pages and whatnot else, and after a while, end up with nothing to do. maybe if i write (type) about my days on here, i would possibly be able to capture some excitement and lead it into my particularly boring days.

hmm.

writers block sucks.

this is really smile-making

at least to me..

CAST OF CHARACTERS

I can't is a quitter,

I don't know is lazy,

I wish I could is a wisher,

I might is waking up,

I will try is on his feet,

I can is on his way,

I will is at work,

I did is now the boss.

- Earl Cassel








found it on the internet =)

_____________________
even if im not feeling
particularly strong,
ill use the strength i have
to help you carry on.
_____________________

map and dot.
this is for yous.


please.
dont be sad.
not for me.
im not worth it.
not worth your hurt.
im not.
please.
dont cry.
not for me.
im not worth it.
not worth your tears.
im really not.
please.
dont be mad.
not at me.
im not worth it.
not worth your anger.
honestly. im not.
please.
dont stay awake.
not because of me.
im not worth it.
not worth your lack of sleep.
im not. for real.
and please.
dont worry.
not about me.
im not worth it.
not your peace of mind.
absolutely not.

please.
find a drop of happiness.
a hint of a smile.
a smidgen of forgiveness.
an ounce of sleep.
and some serenity.
please.
for me.

i cant stand it.
when youre sad.
when youre hurt.
when you cry.
when youre angry.
when you lose sleep.
when you worry.

all for me.
so please.
dont.